Dan and I have breakfast together often. We’ve both been married about 40 years. One time we were just laughing about some of the things that took us years to learn about our wives. Like when your wife talks to you about a problem she’s facing. You offer her some GREAT advice. Instead of graciously and willingly accepting your ‘pearls of wisdom’, she pushes back at you, and you cannot figure out why she’s not accepting your wise counsel.
I mean, she came to you for advice and now she’s not taking it. An argument ensues.
It took us years to learn that our spouses didn’t want to be “fixed”. They just wanted to invite us into their process of solving their problem themselves. What they saw as something intimate, we saw as a problem to be fixed. All we guys had to do is listen to them, offer some words of encouragement, and hug them at the end. That’s it….nothing more! No figuring out how to solve their problem.
Why did it take Dan and I, like 10 years, to figure this out? Our wives are capable of figuring it out themselves. They just wanted us to walk with them on their journey of self-discovery. How intimate and awesome is that!
This is the type of thing that Dan and I would laugh about. Then it hit us! What if we could share it with couples about to be married? It may save them years of frustrations. So we went to our pastor with it and… Lo and Behold…we and our wives wound up teaching the pre-marital class at our church. While we did use prepared material, we were able to intersperse our own “nuggets of wisdom” to them throughout the course.
The 8 sessions class went so well, that these couples want to get together about 6 months after they’re married just to see how they’re all doing. And we “old folks” (Dan and I and our wives) were invited too! I think we’ll teach the class next year.
It’s interesting to see how God works in peoples lives and who He chooses to do that work, as long as we’re available to be used by Him. It’s also very interesting to see how He can take our past failures and struggles and use them for His glory.
Has He worked this way in your life? Are there any past struggles that He has used in your life to bless someone else? Please share them with me!
For His Kingdom,