Marriage: Sex and Affection
Definition of affection:
– a feeling of liking for a person or place.
– a physical way of showing how much you love someone, a fondness that consumes you, wanting to touch, kiss, hug, hold or caress someone.
Affection is the first step toward love. Lust is just a physical, sexual attraction towards someone. It objectifies a person. It doesn’t see that person as a person but just as a physical object only. It may or may not transform into love but if it does, it’ll take time.
Desire is like lust but it cares for the person.
Affection is a learned skill. It doesn’t come natural to anyone. Some people are just quicker learners than others.
Regarding sex, men are like a match, we get turned on instantly. Women are like a fireplace fire. It takes awhile and some effort to get her burning. Men also desire sex more often than women. It’s a great stress reliever for men. Over days, men have a buildup of semen in our body. If it doesn’t get relieved every few days, it makes us very nervous. See the ‘Benefits of Sex’ sheets.
(Hint – do not, under any circumstances, view pornography or sex tapes with real human beings or sex scenes in real movies.)
There are manty good Christian books on sex. Go to christianbook.com and type in “sex” and you’ll see uite a number of books.
Here are some questions that you and your spouse should talk about:
– How much affection was there in your families growing up?
– How did you learn about affection? About sex?
– What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex? (Hint; women need a lot more than men do)
– How often do you want sex in your marriage?
– What specific sexual acts do you want or enjoy?
– Can you communicate these specific acts to your spouse?
– Have your discussed sexual boundaries with your spouse?
– How can you both take steps to respect these boundaries?
– Your sexual relationship will change over time. Have you discussed ways to keep it satisfying?
Please read these scriptures together:
Proverbs 5:18-19, 1st Corinthians 7:3-5, Song of Songs 7:10-12 and Hebrews 13:4